That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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