Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
