Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
