I met the friendliest cop last night
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize