Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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