i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
