Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
