just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
