Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
