It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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