Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
