The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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