Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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