Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
