he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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