So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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