I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Naked Twister starts at high noon
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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