i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
