can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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