Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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