My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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