She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
