Will you blow on my dice?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
