Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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