I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
