Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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