i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
