Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In America we eat man semen.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
