I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize