I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
