Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
did i just pee glitter
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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