i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
