Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
