it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
