Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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