My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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