my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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