Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
