So drunk its hurt
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
