wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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