I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Is that strawberry winking at me??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
