I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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