I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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