from now on my penis is your penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
