I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
