I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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