Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am available for nakedness
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
