Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
