Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
