pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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