I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
