I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
