As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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