please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
