We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My dick has a subreddit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
