is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
