i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
