What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
