I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
