Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
