You can't motorboat a personality
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
