Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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