There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
