I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
