i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
